Start a Resolution!!!

Damn those holiday Mondays!! I lost track again of the days again!! I hope you all had a fantastic New Year’s holiday! I did…well the parts I can remember anyway. 🙂

There is no weigh-in this week. I am out of town for work (apparently brought the cold weather down to Florida with me on the plane) and don’t have access to my scale. Back on track next Monday (yes, Monday not Tuesday) I promise.

I’m sure a lot of you made a New Year’s resolution…I did as I always do. And this year, like every other year of my adult life at least one of my resolutions involves losing weight. Only difference is that this year my goal is to KEEP losing weight versus to START losing weight.

To all of you who made a similar resolution to change your life and your health this year….then this post is especially for you.

Focus – and listen to what I’m saying…(do it!!!)

There is no excuse, no logical reason, and no remote possibility why 2012 can’t be, and won’t be the one where you finally get your act together and make a little something amazing and life-changing happen on your weight-loss.

If you’re anything like me (for fun and giggles, let’s just assume you’re exactly like me in each and every way), then this isn’t your first rodeo.  How many times have you set a New Year’s resolution to rearrange your life? How many times have you lost sight of the goal you’d vowed to achieve? Maybe the other times you tried your motivation held strong for four weeks or maybe it was closer to four hours (remember, we’re pretending that you’re exactly like me).

Maybe you followed an unhealthy, ginormous breakfast with a declaration of “No more!” and then followed that declaration of “No more!” with a ginormous lunch.

It’s possible you’ve even convinced yourself that you can’t do this, that it’s simply too difficult for you. Well allow me to respond with one thing: Schnozzle flubberdusters ate bowyangs on an absquatulate hemidemisemiquaver.

Hey, it you’re going to delve in the crazy talk, then so am I! Telling yourself that you can’t do this or that it’s too hard is crazy talk.

Check out my stats and see the progress I’ve made.  I’ve lost the weight of an average 6-year old. Insane. When you get your head in the game and your ass in gear, you’ll see the same reduction. I had no idea what I was doing when I started on this crazy journey, but I did know that it was time for me to make a drastic change.

Your journey will not be completely like the one I’ve been on. Yours will not be like anyone else’s before you. You have to create your own path.

And at this moment in time, when you look at yourself in the mirror, may feel like I once did: as though I was defined by all the things I wasn’t instead of all the things I was. This is your chance to make a new start and to really bring it home this time. Take this opportunity to redefine yourself.
Trust me. Shedding pounds on the scale doesn’t instantly fix anything in your life that might have been bothering you. Dropping the weight won’t necessarily make your life picture-perfect. It won’t get you that guy/girl you wish would fall in love with you (but if they do finally start to pay you some attention, they might not be worth your time anyway), it won’t make you a millionaire and isn’t likely to immediately land you on the cover of Playboy, but I’m willing to wager you a hot dollar that it’ll make your life better. That it’ll make dealing with whatever you have to deal with ten times easier because you’ll be happy to be in your own skin, and learn to love your imperfect life perfectly.

Abandon the “I can’t do it” notion…leave the feelings of worthlessness at the door and let’s start the slow, steady journey back to where you want to be, where you deserve to be….Where you belong.

 

“All our dreams can come true, if we have the courage to pursue them … If you can dream it, you can do it.” ~ Walt Disney

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I Put My Thing Down, Flip It, and Reverse It!

I will always be overweight
And I refuse to believe that
I can succeed at this weight loss
I realize that isn’t the way most people think but
“Eating to live instead of living to eat”
Making myself happy with food
Is more important than
Making myself healthy with food
And this much is true:
People are succeeding at losing weight every day
But I know in my heart this will not be the case for me
Right now it doesn’t seem possible
I can change my ways and be fit for the rest of my life
This is what I believe:
This journey is just too tough for me
It’s just a fact of life that
People like me are weak-willed and lazy
And it’s ridiculous to believe that
I will lose weight and be healthy

That’s how I used to feel…now I’ve changed my way of thinking and reversed my philosophy on this whole weight loss thing…So now read it from the bottom up to see how I currently feel.

 

And if that reversal wasn’t enough…how backwards is this: I managed to LOSE weight over Thanksgiving!!!

 

Who would have thought?!

 

Thanksgiving this year was undoubtedly different than previous years…

 

This year I only got one plate (which I didn’t finish).

This year it was more about spending time with my amazing family than obsessively focusing on how many bites of stuffing or potatoes I could fit in my mouth.

This year the whole family got to experience my gluten-free gravy – and liked it!

This year I felt beautiful and confident instead of feeling insecure and disgusting in my own skin.

This year I realized how blessed I am to have my family, and blown away at the incredible bond that we all have with each other.

This year I felt marvelous and on top of the world.

This year I was healthier than I have been in the past.

This year I gave immense thanks to what I stand for, what I am, and what I am starting to become.

This year I know for a fact that I am amazing.

This year is MY year.

 

“Something inside you emerges….an innate, indwelling peace, stillness, aliveness. It is the unconditioned, who you are in your essence. It is what you had been looking for in the love object. It is yourself.”  – Eckhart Tolle

It’s Time for Some Turkey!

Happy Thanksgiving Week!  So much to be thankful for this year…so much that I’m not going to let a little (ok, so a lot of weight gain) get me down…

 

Damn you alcoholic beverages. Your empty calories sure know how to ruin a trip to the scale!

 

I’m not even going to pretend that it will be way lower next week. I’m not saying I’m going to stuff my face beyond the point of maximum gastric expansion, but I am saying that I plan to enjoy a fantastic meal. Well…fantastic meals. Having multiple families also means having multiple Thanksgivings.

At least I can safely steer clear of the dessert table this year – there will be no pumpkin pie or pecan pie being ingested for this girl! It’s all good…dessert is never my favorite part anyway. I’d rather have 4 helpings of brussell sprouts than a piece of pie any day.

We must avoid the food coma!!!

Need some additional tips for getting through the beaucoups of food this Thanksgiving…I’ve got you covered….Here are some phrases to help you say no to too much:

  • “Sorry, my tapeworm won’t allow me to eat pumpkin pie.”
  • “My religion forbids cranberry sauce.”
  • “No thanks. I happen to know that Cousin Marc licked all the rolls before dinner.”
  • “My doctor informed me that even one slice of pecan pie will make my spleen explode.”
  • “No thanks. I see dead people in gravy.”
  • “That stuffing looks delicious but it brings back hurtful memories of that sorority hazing incident that’s too painful for me to talk about…”
  • “I’m allergic to second helpings.”
  • “I don’t think so. Dad always buys his turkeys from some dude who sells them out of the trunk of his Grand Am along with bootleg DVDs…”
  • “I yam not gonna have any of those marshmallowy sweet potatoes, thank you very much.”
  • “I would have more, but you’re a terrible cook…”
  • “Do you have any diet wine?”
  • “No thanks… I had giblets for breakfast this morning.”
  • “No green bean casserole for me this year; I’m showing my support for the plight of Chilean green bean farmers.”
  • “No thanks. I saw Grandma spit into the mashed potatoes while she was making them.”
  • “I think that has gluten in it. Sorry, none for me!”

 

I’m going to just say no to over stuffing myself…but sure am thankful for how far I’ve come, how many of you have been here to support me, and how amazing I feel.

 

Happy Thanksgiving to you all!

 

“Thanksgiving: Not a good day to be my pants.” ~ Kevin James

Penchant de Fromage

I love cheese. And who doesn’t?! Saying you dislike cheese is as disturbing to me as someone saying they hate puppies and children.

Did you know that the root of the English word cheese comes from the Latin caseus, which also gives us the word casein, the milk protein that is the basis of cheese? (More on casein in a minute).

Did you know that that Egypt brings us the earliest archeological evidence of cheesemaking which was found in tomb murals that date back to 2000 BC? Or that these cheeses were likely to have been very sour and salty and similar to a cottage cheese or feta in texture?

Did you know that, According to the British Cheese Board, Britain has approximately 700 distinct local cheeses?  It is thought that France and Italy have perhaps 400 each.

Did you know that The United States is the top producer of cheese in the world, with Wisconsin and California leading the states in production? And while the US is the top producer, Greece and France are the top in terms of consumption?

So what does this talk about fromage have to do with anything?

Well, there I was again today…in the grocery store. Same route every time…I stroll through the produce section…always check out the arugula to see if it’s on sale, then my intent is to head towards the meat counter. But, as it always happens, I get distracted along the way…every time. Halfway between the steak and the lettuce, sits my happy place…the small island I seem to get sucked into every time…my Bermuda triangle: The Cheese Section.

I am unable to divert. Sucked in by an invisible force. If I could buy it all I would (aside from goat cheese, of course, which I despise).  The feta in herbed brine, the fresh smoked mozzarella, big hunks of Parmigiano-Reggiano and of course my favorite: BRIE. Also known as the “Queen of Cheeses”…and with good reason. I certainly worship her. The crust is thin, fluffy and white. The cheese is straw yellow, creamy and soft. And it is my drug.

I am legitimately hooked on cheese. Good cheese. Quality cheese. Double your grocery bill cheese. If only I had grown up on cheez whiz instead of brie and gorgonzola I’d have a lot more money in my grocery budget!

I blame my family for exposing me to the culinary delight of it all.  Salads with feta or blue cheese, appetizers of Boursin or Aloutte, tangy bites of ricotta salata or horseradish cheddar.  And I have loved every bite.

There is one thing I know I can count on with 100% certainty when I go to my grandparents’ house. While some grandchildren know that they’ll have fresh baked cookies waiting inside, I always know there will be at least one variety of brie in their house. And it has been that way for as long as I can remember.

Trust me…I am not complaining!  I’m just trying to peel away 29 years of fromage binge.

According to the U.S. Census Bureau, “The average American consumes 23 gallons of milk and 30 pounds of cheese a year.” I’d give up the milk and eat 53 pounds instead!

I could give up give up every other food in the grocery store if you let me stay on my little dairy island. I am in the midst of full-blown addition. Do you or someone you know have an addition to cheese?

Here are the signs:

1.  Desperate Need for More Cheese

2. Desire to eat only cheese

3. Constipation

4. Nightmares

5. Hallucinations

6. Hearing Voices

7. Social Ineptitude

8. Hearing Convincing Arguments Claiming You Should Hurt Your Neighbor, Carrot Top or Paula Abdul

9. Need for more Cowbell

10. Weight Gain…:(

 

But on a serious note…is cheese really an addictive substance?

Well, much to my surprise and a little bit of research, it appears to be…but why?

Well, it’s certainly not because of its aroma, which is startlingly close to old socks. The first hint of a biochemical explanation came in 1981, when scientists at Wellcome Research Laboratories in Research Triangle Park, N.C., found a substance in dairy products that looked remarkably like morphine. After a complex series of tests, they determined that, surprisingly enough, it actually was morphine. Morphine!!!!!!

By a fluke of nature, the enzymes that produce opiates are not confined to poppies — they also hide inside cows’ livers. The morphine is produced in order to create a calming effect on their young.  This makes sure that their young bond with them and that their young continue to feed.

So traces of morphine can pass into the cow’s bloodstream and end up in milk and milk products. The amounts are far too small to explain cheese’s appeal. But nonetheless, the discovery led scientists on their search for opiate compounds in dairy products.

And as it turns out, milk contains more than just morphine, it also contains casein, which when broken down in digestion releases a lot of opiates!  In cheese, casein is in a much higher concentration so cheese can be far more addictive than milk.

So it’s confirmed…it is possible that I am really and truly, physiologically addicted to cheese!!!  That explains my constant need for more cowbell and desire to tie Paula Abdul up so I never have to hear her whiny voice again!

I need to detox from the dairy. I need to give my body a break.  Having gone gluten-free has led me to be a lot more reliant on dairy than I was before. I know most cheeses are safe so I’ve been a little too dependent on it as a staple to my daily diet. And I can feel it all like a lead weight.

Can I take a break from it for a while? I am seriously worried about dairy withdrawal and worried that the withdrawal will lead to an uncontrollable bender. I just can’t quit you, Cheese!

I’m gonna try…with all my might I’m going to focus on the other food groups. Well…the ones that are left that I can have.  Grains/Wheat, Dairy, Vegetables, Proteins, Fruit…I know I can do it and the anti-dairy possibilities are endless!  And I know I’ll feel less weighed down next week, too.  Until then, I’ll see you in my dreams, Cheese island!

“How can you govern a country which has 246 varieties of cheese? ~ Charles De Gaulle

Say Yes To A Dress!

What a week!

Still hobbling around on an injured foot..I have transformed into a redhead..and the skin of on my limbs is coming off like a molting animal following a fun experience with 2nd degree sunburn following my trip to the beach.

I finally stopped being a slacker of a sister/maid of honor and made it to Charlotte to assist my sister in bridesmaid dress selection and to see her wedding gown.  All I can say is wow.  I don’t think I’ve ever seen her so beautiful, and I know it is only a fraction of the beauty she’ll have on her wedding day as she walks down aisle toward her sweet, sweet fiancé.  (Absolutely adore him and adore how happy he makes her.)

The bridesmaid dress selection was interesting…there was a beautiful array of dresses and I would have enjoyed the entire process much, much more if I was able to comfortably get into one of the samples.  I’m not sure why ‘sample dresses’ aren’t made created for an average size.  It’s significantly easier to clamp a size 12 onto a size 6 woman than to have a size 12 woman squeeze into a size 6 to attempt to get an idea of the perfect dress. It’s tough to find that perfect dress when you can’t breathe, the dress is hugging onto every inch of bulge you might have, and your back fat is gaping out of the zipper in the back. Well – that was my experience anyway.

I want to go to a store eventually and slip everything on like it was made for me. This I-think-I-can-fit-it-over-my-hips-slowly-without-ripping-the-fabric thing has got to go!  I even got stuck in one of the dresses. Thanks to my mom and the sales girl for freeing me from certain suffocation.

Speaking of the sales girl – I feel so sorry for her! In trying to get a better idea of the ‘fit’ of the dresses we liked the most, she offered to clamp the dress to my bra so I could at least see what it would look like (or try to see) without holding it up. Little did she know I would be shedding skin from my sunburn like I had the worst case of body dandruff ever, or that she’d be trying to figure out how to clamp the dress to my Aaaah Bra (afterall – my itty bitties don’t need underwire).  She claimed not to mind – but I wouldn’t be surprised if she requested to move to the tuxedo section as soon as I left.

After finding the dress I of course gave the store the answer that I’m sure many women give a dress shop when needing to be measured: “I’m planning on losing weight so when is the absolute latest date I can come in here to get measured?”

How many times have I made this promise to myself? I’ll lose weight before Thanksgiving 2008…didn’t happen.  I’ll lose weight before my 10-year reunion…didn’t happen. I’ll lose weight before summer 2009…and 2010…and 2011…didn’t happen.  I always come out of the gate with such gusto only to lose sight of my goal somewhere along the line…and what I had been striving to achieve doesn’t happen.

How do you stay on track when you’ve got a goal in sight? Whether it is weight loss related, or academically related or anything…I’d love for you to comment on how you keep your eyes on the prize.

Glad to say that I’m finally going the right direction…

 

My focus of late has been on reminding myself that I don’t want to be the embarrassment of my sister’s wedding photos. I don’t want to look through all of them and only like one of 200 because the rest show me from a horrendous angle. I’ve got to transform myself physically before May.  I adore my baby sister and want to do everything in my power to make every single aspect of that day perfect for her. I know she would never tell me I needed to drop a few, nor would she tell me I looked bad in a picture, but I owe it to her to match her beauty.  Or at least try…she’s stunning so I’ve got a lot to live up to!  I’m tired of standing out because I poke out.  Time to keep taking the bull by the horns and say I made it happen this time and my goal is complete.

“Sisters is probably the most competitive relationship within the family, but once the sisters are grown, it becomes the strongest relationship.”  ~Margaret Mead