Posting My Starting Weight: Humiliation or Liberation?

Well there it is…in all its glory…the scale.  I can’t hide behind the number anymore…can’t secretly write it down in a little journal or notebook for no one else to see but myself. Though posting what I actually weigh is causing some unnecessary anxiety – it’s quite freeing!  I will say with 100% certainty that I will NEVER see this number on the scale again. (On a side note…I apologize for the poorly pedicured feet!)

Part of me is afraid that some people might have the “OMG she weighs how much?!” response…(hell, I had the same response when I stepped on the scale this morning!)..but I keep reminding myself that I can’t fix what I’m not honest about…well, that and I’m pretty sure that no one looks at me and says “Hmmm…I thinks she weighs 130 lbs.”

Those of you that know me the best know I’ve spent the last 15 years of my life “trying” every diet, juice, pill or other gimmick on the market. While some of them are promising…I am sad to report that eating raw vegetables for the rest of your life isn’t feasible, liquid diets are miserable, cabbage soup is a horrible way to live (for both you and those around you) and most disappointing of all: taking QuickTrim does not make you look like a Kardashian. Really bummed about the last one – I was really hoping to look like Kim Kardashian by Valentine’s Day!

I’m fed up with the yo-yo dieting and roller coaster weight battle I’ve been fighting.

I want to shop in a normal store. I want to like pictures of myself instead of having to un-tag myself in them to prevent showing 14 chins instead of 1. I want to wear shorts in the summer (confidently that is). I want to wear undergarments that are cute and dainty, not ones that are on the verge of being industrial (Ok so, yes I have cute ones – Sorry, Dad – but is frilly underwear really that cute in a size 18?!). I want to look in a full-length mirror with satisfaction instead of despair. I want to stop thinking mean thoughts when I see skinny women. I want to be able to say my weight out loud with pride. I want to say “I used to be overweight.”  I want my boobs to stick out more than my stomach when I’m sitting down and not the other way around. I want to feel the power of accomplishment. I want to stop wearing out the thigh of my jeans before anything else. I want to wear cute boots that actually fit over my calves. I want to live longer. I want to stop giving excuses as to why I haven’t succeeded before.  I want to change my life.

Wait a minute…no, I don’t want these things…I WILL DO these things!!!

After only 1 day of this blog officially being online, I can feel in my soul that this time is different. I have already made better decisions with my “followers” in mind. I can’t wait to share my success! It’s so motivating to know that I have cheerleaders out there!

Until next time…

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