For years of my life, and even when I started this journey with you all, I had a nasty habit of calling myself some pretty disgusting names. The negativity I had flowing through my mind with regards to my self-image would be enough to make Fidel Castro cry.
I was certainly putting on a positive face externally, but the verbal abuse I was subjecting myself to internally was insane.
I wrote down a list of the titles I used to give myself. Wow….Seeing them on paper really opened my eyes to how mean I was. I am NOT the things I have for so many years repeated to myself:
I am NOT a slob.
I am NOT lazy.
I am NOT a jealous, ungrateful bitch.
I am NOT disgusting.
I am NOT gross.
I am NOT a screw-up.
I am NOT a failure.
Yes, these are the lovely pet names I gave myself. It’s no wonder I had such a hard time seeing myself in a better light once I started to change physically. I was still running the broken record of insults inside, despite changing for the better on the outside.
I discovered that in order to change the way I saw myself, I had to create a different picture…a different image of the person I think I am.
As a praise-driven individual, it sure did take a long time to get through my thick skull that cutting myself down was certainly not the way to self-motivate.
I certainly love all the praise and compliments I have received from those that support me. While they might have once gone in one ear and out the other, they are at least sinking in a little now. I’ve got you convinced…now it’s time to convince myself.
I’ve obtained, created, supported, and enforced my negative habits the majority of my life – but now it’s time to undo them. It’s time to undo ALL of them. It is time for me to reprogram my brain to think of myself in only an encouraging way.
I will post notes everywhere if I have to…I will stand in front of the mirror and say something positive every morning to break the habit…whatever work needs to be done, I’m ready and willing to reverse the destructive talk.
I’ve done an incredible thing and I need to remain focused on my accomplishment. I have conquered my most persistent demon: my weight. I no longer look in the mirror and think ‘I can’t”…because I did.
I have lost almost 78 pounds…I would say that constitutes accomplishment!
I did it without gimmicks, without pills, without lotions or potions, I did it without a weight loss show. I did it with me and only me. That’s certainly not the feat of someone fat or lazy or a failure.
I have beaucoups of reasons to look at myself and be proud. I must paint myself in a better light…
I am successful.
I am healthy.
I am happy.
I am loved.
I am the whole package.
I must give myself a better pet name…
Welcome to my amazing world.
“Positive anything is better than negative nothing.” ~ Elbert Hubbard