First off…I hope everyone had a fantastic Thanksgiving holiday!
Now to the good stuff…
If you know anything about me, you know I’m a die-hard UNC Tarheels fan. Much to the dismay of my dad and many of my other (crazy Blue Devil) friends, I bleed Carolina Blue.
Football has been hit or miss over the years, (I once owned a shirt that said “UNC: A drinking school with a football problem.”) but basketball on the other hand…that’s where it’s at for me. (Wow…what a grammatical nightmare that sentence was!)
So in true frustrate the hell out of an avid sports fan form, my sweet team has been slightly irritating this year. When they’re playing an unranked, no player over 6 feet tall, should be able to beat them with the UNC walk-ons blindfolded and tied to each other type of teams…we lose. When we’re playing the protégé, definitely going to be in the Final Four, top 3, ridiculous skill type of teams…we win.
When it is absolutely and logically impossible for us to walk away with a defeat…it happens. When it is absolutely and logically impossible for us to lose…we can’t make a damn shot and sport a big ‘L’ on the forehead on the bus home.
So what does this have to do with me or my weight loss?
Well…the week that it is absolutely and logically impossible for me to lose an ounce of weight…
And I do!
This marks the 3rd year in a row that I’ve lost weight during Thanksgiving week.
Trust me…I’m not complaining. It just makes absolutely NO sense.
I stuffed my face last week…and when I say stuff my face, I mean I ate everything in sight…turkey, figgy piggy (Thanks Sarah!), gravy, stuffing, green bean casserole, roasted veggies, mashed potatoes, creamed corn, sweet potatoes, quinoa and butternut squash casserole, broccoli and cauliflower, hashbrown casserole, curried onions, swiss chard, sausage balls, cake balls (it was year of the balls apparently), pumpkin pie, a thousand batches of gingersnaps, gummy worms (I’m sure I’m forgetting a few things)…and all of that was just on Thanksgiving day! (And yes, everything I ate was gluten free.)
I wanted to care what I was eating that day…but decided not to fret and that I’d catch up later in the week. After all…how often do you get to enjoy beaucoups of homemade deliciousness with your family?!
My catch-up never happened and I didn’t exactly eat well this week either…traveling plus hotel plus no scale to gauge my progress (or regress) leaves me in a world of confusion, French fries and chocolate.
This pattern of thinking it’s one way and it’s actually another is not new to me. There are often days or weeks that I feel incredible…I feel thinner, I feel flatter and more defined. Those are the times I get on the scale only to see that I’ve gone up. I know I should base the way I feel about myself on the way I truly feel (vs. on what a digital number is yelling at me), but that’s tough for me. My weight loss has more or less defined me mentally for the last 2 years. My panic over waking up to have it all packed back on leads me to get slightly obsessed about the daily ups and downs. Being so close to a major weight loss milestone only makes things worse.
Hopefully some of this stress and worry of overnight failure will subside a bit once I reach that 100-pound mark. For some (screwed up) reason…99 pounds is not an accomplishment but 100 is. If I can make it to that mark, I will have done something that I had convinced myself for 15 years of struggle with my weight that I could never ever do. Then again…I never truly believed I could make it to a 94.4-pound weight loss mark either!
So this week, even though I lost a decent amount of weight, I feel horrible. I feel like I didn’t lose or that it’s just some sick game that the scale is playing. I should have been ecstatic when I stepped on the scale this morning but I wasn’t. It might of well have shown a 2 pound gain. It never occurred to me until now that perhaps my body is finally rejecting all this crappy, processed stuff. All I can think about right now is diving into a big bowl of kale salad (no lie) and a year ago all I could think about was fried potatoes. (I clearly have a thing for french fries…I think I’ve mentioned them in almost every blog.) I don’t want to eat bad anymore which I know is a step in the right direction.
Nevertheless, the mind-boggling weight loss for the week means one of two things…
1) The more calories I ingest the more weight I lose. In other words, if I spend the next 2 weeks eating nachos and sausage then I’ll be less than 150 pounds in no time!
2) That the weight is waiting in the wings to pack on this week so I need to be extra careful.
Yeah…I’m thinking it’s not likely to be option number 1…unfortunately. 🙂
I have no scientific knowledge of how calories really work and how long excess calories ‘stick around’…all I have in my brain is the basic premise that if you burn more calories than you take in, you will lose. I seem to have defied all the laws of nutrition last week, which leaves me a little panicked about this week.
Does the poundage wait until you least expect it to totally depress you when you get on the scale? How is it humanly possible to lose when I ate as much as I did? Do cheat weeks lead to a faster metabolism (I’ve read that a cheat day is in fact beneficial to metabolism) to this degree? Does it catch back up with you eventually?
I honestly don’t know….
But here’s what I do know…
I am thankful for an incredible Thanksgiving weekend.
I am thankful for the food on my plate and the roof over my head.
I am thankful for my family and the bond that we share.
I am thankful for weight loss.
I am thankful for the way my body has transformed.
I am thankful for smaller sizes and larger confidence.
I am thankful for good health and a clear mind.
I am thankful for this blog.
And of course, I am thankful that the Heels defeated Louisville and Michigan State.
“If the odds are a million to one against something occurring, chances are 50-50 it will.”