Bad. Badder. Worstest.

BAD: You accidentally buy whole milk at the grocery store.

BADDER: You accidentally drink a milkshake with said whole milk.

WORSTEST: You fill up the bathtub with heavy cream and drink your way to the bottom.

BAD: You skip your workout.

BADDER: You skip a week of workouts.

WORSTEST: You forgot how to get to the gym.

BAD: You ate too much fried shrimp.

BADDER: Security guards now stop you from entering Red Lobster.

WORSTEST: Your name is mentioned in a worldwide article about a seafood shortage.

BAD: Your favorite shirt is too tight.

BADDER: You split your pants.

WORSTEST: A button popped off your jeans and severely injured a co-worker.

BAD: You barely made it through the 5K you trained for.

BADDER: You barely make it through the Mile Run you trained for.

WORSTEST: You barely made it through the “Real Housewives of Orange County” marathon.

BAD: You were turned down for a date because you’re too big.

BADDER: You were turned down for a job because you’re too big.

WORSTEST: You were turned down from “Biggest Loser” because you’re too big.

BAD: You were really uncomfortable going horseback riding.

BADDER: They couldn’t find a saddle that fit you.

WORSTEST: You broke a horse.

BAD: You tracked your food and went over your allotted calories.

BADDER: You tracked your food and went waaaay over your allotted calories.

WORSTEST: You tracked your food and ran out of numbers.

BAD: You don’t have any jeans that fit.

BADDER: You don’t have any sweatpants that fit.

WORSTEST: You don’t have any muumuus that fit.

BAD: You eat cheese and crackers on the sofa.

BADDER: You eat chips and dip in bed.

WORSTEST: You eat cold pizza in the shower.

BAD: You maintain the same weight from the week before.

BADDER: You gain weight on a diet.

WORSTEST: You are unable to keep any food down for 4 days and still only manage to lose 2 lbs.

I am so over this stomach BS!!!!! Please, someone tell me, how I essentially ingest nothing for almost a week and lose only two pounds?! I just don’t get it…Trying with all my might not to give up.

Hoping to hear from the doctor tomorrow regarding the results of the stomach/small intestine biopsies I had done last week. While I don’t really want anything to be wrong, I’m almost hopeful that she found something…I can’t go on like this anymore. I know something is wrong…I know my insides are fighting back like a kick-ass scene in the Matrix…I just don’t know why.  I’m about to start a pool…$5 per bet…who will take IBS? Celiac Disease? Crohn’s? Diverticulitis?

Fingers crossed for some direction and answers by the end of the week…otherwise I’m not sure what I’m going to do….

“Don’t be discouraged. It’s often the last key in the bunch that opens the lock. ” ~ Unknown