The Cat in the Fat


The sun did not shine,
hadn’t shined not a blip,
For the girl the blogging world
knows as Pudge Gets A Pink Slip.

She sat there so sadly.
She sat there unhappily.
And she said, “How I wish I didn’t eat
quite so crappily.”

Too big to go out
And too fat to play ball.
So she sat at her desk
and did nothing at all.

And all she could do was to
And it left her feeling
Like a big lump of sh*t.

And then
Something went bump!
How that bump made her jump!

She looked!
Then she saw it pop onto her screen.
A web site
On weight loss and low-fat cuisine.
And it said to Hannah,
“C’mon, let’s break this routine.”

“I know you are chubby.
And there’s work to be done
But you can drop poundage
And still have some fun.”

“Have no fear!” said the site.
“I will not let you fail.
I will give you new confidence
when you stand on that scale.”

“In order to lose weight,
There’s two things you must do.
And I call these two things
Thing One and Thing Two.”

“Thing One is ‘eat less’
Stuff less food in your mouth.
Cuz what goes in up North
Often winds up down South.”

“‘Exercise more’ is Thing Two
And please don’t forget.
You won’t dump the plump
without sweating some sweat.”

“Follow Thing 1 and Thing 2
And you won’t stay a fat hog.
Why, if you wanted to you could
Write your own blog.”

“Chronicle your journey
as you step away from the abyss
Fill it with wisdom
(and a few stupid lists).”

So I vowed to eat right,
And I started to move.
And soon was in my own
little weight-losing groove.

And my blog’s doing great.
I may never get rich,
But it seems to have found
its own special niche.

So this cat’s on her way,
She won’t lose her grip.
You can follow my story
as Pudge Gets A Pink Slip

I hope you enjoyed this,
All silly and Seuss-y.
But I may need a lawyer,
When somebody sues me.


Gained last week…dammit. Figured that was going to happen…I didn’t really watch what I was eating. Had to drink 2 large containers of barium on Friday…Bottle said flavor was apple smoothie…seriously?! – I may not be a smoothie connoisseur but this was far from a smoothie. Consistency was more like phlegm (pardon me…I just gagged a little). I’m convinced the barium concrete block is still wedged in my gullet and weighing me down like an anchor.

Maybe this addiction to watching 23 hours a day of Food Network is impeding my progress…

Should perhaps get back to reading my “What Motivates Me List” that I posted last week.

In the words of the infamous, animated, blue fish – “Just keep swimming. Just keep swimming. Just keep swimming, swimming, swimming.”

“The difference between try and triumph is a little umph.”  ~Author Unknown