A Newborn Calf


I am happy to announce that I am….


Wait for it….


Wait for it….


Wait for it….


Glad it’s Friday! Nope…that’s not it.


Loving November in Florida! Nope…that’s not it either.


Obsessed with my dog! Yes but that’s not what I’m referring to.


Ok…enough already.


I am happy to announce that I have hit another milestone!!!



Over 90 pounds…90 pounds!!! (It’s more exciting if you yell that out loud.)

According to the Google search I just performed (yes, that’s right…I only use official research methods), I have lost the equivalent weight of a newborn calf. That is both shocking and hilarious all at the same time.



Ninety pounds is also the equivalent of 11 human heads…gross.



It’s the equivalent of 3 times the amount of cheese the average American consumes in a year….even grosser.



And also the equivalent of 1.5 elephant penis’. Yes…I swear that’s what it says when you Google: ‘what weighs 90 pounds?”

censor elephant


What this also means is that I am less than 10 pounds…ten measly pounds from hitting a triple digit weight loss. Incredible…and completely shocking. I never in a million years thought I’d make it anywhere near this point 2 years ago when I started this whole thing.

After stepping on the scale this morning I thought about what I’ve done and what it really means and came to a conclusion…

I am going to set a New Year’s Pre-resolution.

I will lose the remaining 8.4 pounds by midnight on December 31st.  Bible. (OMG I just used a Kardashian term….Shoot. Me. Now!) Let’s try this again…

I will lose the remaining 8.4 pounds by midnight on December 31st. Am I serious? Dixie Chicks serious. (I love Pitch Perfect!)

So why the big deal about setting a goal with a time limit? Well, long story short, I have avoided a lot of “must lose this much by this date” goals throughout this process. I always set unobtainable ones in the past and when I didn’t make the mark by my deadline, I let the whole effort go to waste. Date goals make me anxious and throw me off my game.

I don’t necessarily think that this one is unobtainable by any means. Won’t be easy…but won’t be impossible. And I’m going to make sure it’s not like any of the other resolutions I’ve made in the past…I still haven’t finished reading Jurassic Park and I set that goal in 1993. Still don’t get up the first time the alarm goes off (I think I hit snooze at least 8 times)…Still have a bad habit of cursing like a sailor on occasion (dammit!!)…and I still have a serious addiction to French fries, string cheese and red meat. (Although I’m much better about the frequency here!)

So…goal is set…the clock is ticking…and ticking right into stuff-my-face-full-of turkey-and-stuffing-and-gravy-and-pumpkin-pie week.  Fabulous.

Nevertheless, I am determined to hit the goal in front of me. And if I can manage to lose the remaining 8.4 with Thanksgiving, moving, job hunting and Christmas all in that same 5-week span, then I will be especially proud of my achievement…and will have lost the equivalent of a 2 month old horse…

Giddy up!!



“Set your goals high, and don’t stop till you get there.” ~Bo Jackson





2 thoughts on “A Newborn Calf

  1. Yea ! Way to go, Hannah!!!!!! Here’s an incentive  —–  What a wonderful birthday present — My birthday and your half-birthday!!! December 30th.  You WILL do it.  I love you. Grandmommy 


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