There is change coming….
There is a new chapter beginning….
This once introverted, girl who despised herself is making the journey of a lifetime this week.
In just a few short days, I will be moving to Miami. Far from the NC life I am so used to and so comfortable with… Far from the comfort of my family…Far from familiarity.
But I could not be more excited! While this relocation is partially due to work, South Florida has also led me to love, and I am taking a leap of faith and following my heart 700 miles south. I am ready for this incredible new adventure. I am ready to show the world what I’m made of and I am most certainly ready to rock the bathing suit on a more frequent basis.
I have grown so much in the last 14 months. Old Hannah certainly wouldn’t have been able to take on such uncertainty. New Hannah is accepting it with open arms.
Needless to say, my mind still continues to have its own insecurities into how other people view me. I always wonder whether my own biases and perceptions are ones that other people have. I question whether I’m doing all of this to prove something to myself or to prove something to the world.
I’ve decided to create a new mantra for myself…create a new creed. In honor of my ‘new chapter’ I’ve created my new rules to live by:
1. I will not think badly about myself when I look in the mirror. – Magazine images aren’t real. Photoshop has destroyed my perception of beautiful.
This is real…and this is beautiful:
(My god, what’s wrong with me?! I just posted a picture of myself in a bathing suit….if that isn’t change then I don’t know what is!)
2. I will not judge someone without recognizing the journey they are on first. – I originally started this blog as a way hold my fat self-accountable…to preach to the world that that just because I’m overweight doesn’t mean I am an awful person or lazy or a failure. Along the way, I’ve been honored when people tell me that I motivate or inspire them, and I’m humbled to know that I might have put words to their pain, their struggle, or their journey.
3. I will not let someone else’s judgment of me change how I feel about myself. – I do it because i can, I can because I want to, I want to because you said I couldn’t.
4. Find the good.- Consider every day an opportunity to live, laugh, learn and love. While many walk around with the world on their shoulders, choose to be different. Choose to be the exception. Choose fun. Choose to find the lesson. Choose happiness. Choose to be that person.
5. I dictate how I feel about myself, not the scale. – My weight loss has certainly slowed over the last few weeks…but mentally, I feel better than ever! It’s about persistence, not perfection.
6. I am on this journey because of the courage I had when I took the first step. – Had it not been for the pudgy girl that found her way along this journey, I wouldn’t be the thinner girl I am today. I owe the world to the 248lb version of Hannah that survived the pain and survived the heartache. She came out strong enough to say, “This is the last time…time to make it happen.” She is my hero.
The next time you hear from me I’ll be in a new place…with new people…and a newfound outlook on life. This euphoria has been 29.92 years in the making…and this happiness isn’t changing anytime soon! This is my time…
Pudge has just about gotten her pink slip….and it feels incredible!
“Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending.” ~ Maria Robinson