Silencing the Evil Voice

(There is no scale result this week. Apparently scales need a battery that’s not dead in order to work…who knew?! 🙂 I’ll get back on track with the official weigh-in next week.)

 

Now back to your regularly scheduled post…

 
Whether you’re finally in your skinny jeans or you’re having to bust out the elastic pants, when the way you look on the outside changes, the way you think and feel about yourself also changes.

I have long struggled with my own self-image. Believing that I, as a fat girl, wasn’t worthy of love or admirers. But this week I’ve been thinking about weight and how even a small change in your weight so drastically affects your self-image.

That’s how it is for me anyway – when I’ve lost weight, I feel confident…on top of the world. I look better and I project myself in a more self-assured way. When I’ve gained weight that stupid nagging voice reminds me once again that I’m a failure and I have no reason to be confident because I don’t look as good anymore.

My ‘evil voice’ is the one that constantly asks if I will ever be good enough.  Despite all my other accomplishments, the voice has convinced me that fat is despicable and will never be good enough. That I will never be good enough.

I’m trying with all my might to stop letting the evil voice win.  Stop letting the negative thoughts seep into my mind and change my perception of myself, even if no one else feels the same way.

The evil voice is like a disease. It takes over your brain. It erases all positive thoughts and replaces them with self-destructive ones.  Once it gets embedded in your mind, it convinces you that you can’t do things skinnier people can.  “You can’t exercise at this size, what’s the point? You can’t really lose weight permanently, so why try?  You can’t find anyone to love you, so why even date?”

But the evil voice doesn’t have to win! The way you perceive yourself is directly related to who you are and how you interact with people.  You are the one in control of how you see yourself and you are also in control of how others see you.  The more positive you are with yourself, the more you will exude that with others. I am certainly one that needs to follow my own advice.

The weeks that I am more positive and find more love for myself are the weeks that I find more success. I may not have an official weight tonight, but I feel incredible this week and am certain it was one of success.  And the way I’m feeling right now means as much to me as a drop in poundage.

I am going to make a conscious effort to stay positive despite any possible setback. I will not fret over possibly having consumed too many calories one night at dinner or gaining a few ounces on the scale. I will try and remember how I’m feeling right now, and let that be my motivation to keep myself upbeat and focused. I will concentrate more on what I have accomplished thus far instead of how much further I have to go.

I am trying to define myself outside of my size for once. I am a lot of things. I am smart. I am funny. I am giving and kind. I am a good cook. I am a great sister and daughter. I am worthy. (Repeat.)

And you’re worthy too. You’re worthy regardless of your body shape. You’re worthy regardless of your size 16 or your size 2. You’re worthy regardless of your weakness for chocolate or your addiction to popcorn. You are worthy just as you are right this very minute.

So do yourself a favor…learn to love yourself for who you are and not what number is on the scale…and while you’re at it, tell the evil voice to SHUT UP once and for all.

 

“Right now you are one choice away from a new beginning — one that leads you toward becoming the fullest human being you can be.” ~ Oprah Winfrey

 

 

 

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