Supersize This!

I’m not currently a member of Weight Watchers, but have been in the past…After seeing a really cheesy commercial for it, I decided to come up with the Things You’d Really Like to Say in Your Weight Watchers Meeting: 
  • “Weight Watcher’s frozen pizza is delicious… if you like fake-cheesy cardboard.”
  • “This is what I get for losing 25 pounds? I’ve won better stuff playing Skee-Ball.”
  • “I believe that scale needs to be re-calibrated and I should know because I’m a full-time scale calibration technician.”
  • “Dip my fork in salad dressing? Lady, that’s just crazy-talk.”
  • “Is there a Weight Watchers iPhone app that shocks you when you try to eat pie?”
  • “Yes, that’s a five-pound gain, but I have a good excuse: there was a weekend in there.”
  • “A Big Mac only has fourteen points? Let’s ride!”
  • “That’s right… this week I’ll be using my ‘Get Out of Weigh-In Free’ Card.”
  • “I suppose it’s just a coincidence that “leader” rhymes with “eater.”
  • “We’re watching a movie at this week’s meeting: ‘Diethard with a Vengeance.’”
  • “Weight Watchers yogurt is fantastic… for grouting tile.”
  • “I can’t have gained weight! I haven’t eaten in 96 hours…”
  • “Order a pizza with no cheese? What kind of sick maniac are you?”
  • “No, I didn’t track all my points, but I did DVR every episode of ‘Top Chef’.”
  • “My family really let me down. They just sat there and watched me eat that can of Crisco.”
  • “I just don’t think “rice cakes” should be allowed to use the word ‘cake’ in their name.”
  • “Let’s ditch this bitch and go get some ice cream.”

Kind of a blah week weight loss wise….

I know…having consumed a zillion ounces of adult beverage this weekend probably didn’t help.

I do have one particular gripe this week…well 2 but they’re similar…

What in the world is wrong with society?!  I irritates the crap out of me that people blame places like McDonalds for their obesity. That children are fat because McDonalds doesn’t have healthy options. I’m sorry, but when did children start driving themselves to McDonalds?!  That theory is like blaming a bullet for someone being shot…there’s a person involved that has to complete the action. If you go through the drive thru 6 nights a week and get chicken nuggets, fries and a coke and then you shouldn’t wonder why your child is larger than average.  Trust me…I’ve eaten fast food plenty of times in my life.  But I have NEVER ordered a Big Mac, large fry and a Coke and thought “This is good for me!”

Now people sue these fast food places because of their obesity? Seriously?!  It’s not like it’s the only option for lunch or dinner. Is it faster than cooking something at home? Yeah, sometimes.  But that all boils down to poor planning in my opinion.  I’m fat because I ate poorly for too long…Ate poorly by choice – not by requirement. I chose the crappy food, and now have the crappy physique.

And my other gripe deals with our backwards society as well.  We’ve got a debt crisis, crazy unemployment, phone hacking scandal, Carmegeddon, and Casey Anthony is free…and what was the media worried about last week…What Michelle Obama ate at the Shake Shack.  The woman is absolutely beautiful. She’s in shape, she’s fit…yes she runs a campaign to fight childhood obesity – but who cares if she consumed a meal consisting of 1700 calories. Moderation is key to every diet. One meal doesn’t lead to obesity.  An occasional indulgence should be fine, and is what keeps most people on track with their diet.  The problem is that most Americans do this more than “occasionally.”  Eating should be about balance, not perfection.

If she wanted a cheeseburger, fries, a chocolate shake and a diet coke, by god I think she should be allowed to have it without it being broadcast on every news program in the United States. What’s next? Are they going to say that she holds her cell phone too close to her head or is she going to be vilified because she buys non-biodegradable tampons?  She’s the wife of one of the most powerful men in the world…in my opinion, it makes her more relatable to know that she’s not only eating a small salad with no dressing.  Everyone needs a little Shake Shack in their life. You can’t diet on lettuce alone, with or without the balsamic vinaigrette. Well, you can, but it probably won’t last very long.

Afterall…as the first lady reportedly once said, “Life would be boring without a burger and fries.” And I agree…as long as it’s infrequent…and gluten-free.

“Be moderate in order to taste the joys of life in abundance.”  ~Epicurus

3 thoughts on “Supersize This!

  1. Hannah, you are a scream! I look forward to your emails so that I can track your great progress and your hilarious writings keep me in “stitches”. You’re the best! Love, Jinnette

  2. Cheers to your beer AND to your cheeseburger thoughts! I need to get back on track…come and help ME get my head screwed on straight! Proud of you for your weightloss and your accomplishments at work! Love, MOM

  3. Hi Hannah – love the blog! You’re thoughts are spot on and hilarious – love it. Nice to see another ‘clear’ person out there in blogland 🙂


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