So, tomorrow is supposed to be the hottest day of the year. Joy. Nothing like a heat index of 110 and humidity that suffocates. Makes me wish I was sitting on the beach. Toes in the sand. Scandalous Danielle Steele book in hand. Adult beverage in the cooler. Oh vacation…
And in honor of my wishful thinking….Here are the Top 10 Signs You Need A Vacation:
10.) You find yourself so consumed with your work and other commitments that you can’t actually remember the last time you washed your hair…although you’re pretty sure it was a Thursday. This Thursday? Maybe.
9.) You believe Harry Potter is real.
8.) No matter where you are you tell people that what happens there stays there.
7.) Your alarm clock is broken. Your cell phone is in pieces across your bedroom. Your iHome is covered in Band-aids. Why? Because you have literally beaten the crap out of every instrument that attempts to wake you up in an orderly fashion — including your roommate, who is less than pleased.
6.) Your day planner went missing for approximately 15 minutes, after you left it at your last caffeine-refuel location, and you almost combusted. There was hair-pulling, cursing, lip-biting, foot-stomping, jumping up and down, slam-dancing, and of course frantic phone calls to anyone who might have a clue where exactly your BFF might be.
5.) Your only route to survival has been the cat naps you’ve been able to squeeze in throughout the day in 10 minute intervals. They seemed like a great idea at first, until you realized you hadn’t been in your bed in more than a week, and your body left a permanent imprint on your brand new couches.
4.) Between meetings, conference calls, and work, you haven’t really been outside in days. You find yourself having to wear sunglasses when checking the mail simply because your eyes have forgotten how to respond to natural light.
3.) You hospitalized the last person who criticized your choice of fonts.
2.) The pizza delivery man tells you he misses you after a three day period of not showing up on your doorstep. You’re almost too guilty to let him know that you have had Chinese food his absence. It’s better he doesn’t know about the other men in your life.
1.) You realize you actually spent your sole snippet of free time writing a blog entry about what it’s like to not have free time…
But all for a good cause, right?!
Hooray for another loss last week!
Now if only my brain would reconnect itself.
As I mentioned last week, the only residual symptom of Celiac Disease that I’m still experiencing is brain fog. According to my doctor, the idea is that antibodies generated by ingesting gluten proteins for so long can attack brain function. Neurological issues can also result from nutritional deficiencies (iron, folate, B-vitamins and fatty acids-omega 3) as a result of malabsorption with Celiacs. Neurotransmitters like dopamine and seratonin are also greatly impacted. There are many medical articles written on this connection to gluten acting as a “neuro-toxin”.
I’ve been told to expect to see neurological issues for up to six months after going completely gluten free. Well I’m 2.5 months in…not sure if I’ll make it another 3.5!!! It reminds me of the movie Joe Vs. the Volcano and the particular scene where Meg Ryan says, “You didn’t get a second opinion for something called a “brain cloud?”
I cannot even begin to describe how obnoxious and uncontrollable it is. Not to mention it’s gotten a little scary at times. Imagine yourself after you’ve taken a double dose of sleeping pills and you fight to stay awake. That weird fuzzy feeling…that’s what my brain feels like.
It ranges from sleepiness, to fogginess, to memory dropouts, to brief episodes of confusion. Those that know me best know what a psycho, stalker memory I have. I can typically spit out phone numbers of all my friends from elementary school. So to have these lapses in memory is really frightening and unusual for me. I’ve had moments when I’m driving and for a split second can’t remember which pedal is the gas and which is the brake. I forgot my sister’s middle name the other day. I’ve needed to add 2+6 and seriously had to stare at it for 10 minutes to figure it out. I’ve had trouble spelling words when I type – and for the Spelling Bee Champion of Rama Road in 1991 – not being able to spell is out of the question.
It’s walking across the kitchen to the freezer, and forgetting what on earth it was I wanted from there.
It’s standing in front of the ATM for five minutes before I finally recall my PIN number.
It’s getting stressed in a room full of people because everyone is talking, and it makes it even harder to focus. There is just a total overload of random information and it feels like there is so much I cannot process any of it.
Whole days can pass by, and I will not know how on earth it got to that time. I can’t particularly recall doing anything time consuming, but then tasks seem to take a lot longer than they would normally probably due to lack of focus.
At its absolute worst, I’ve felt so overwhelmed that I didn’t feel like I was on the same planet as other people anymore. I’ve found myself having to stop halfway through saying something, because I couldn’t for the life of me think what I was talking about.
Apparently even my clumsiness can be attributed to Celiac Disease. Maybe I’m not so accident prone after all! Crazy…hitting the edges of door frames, tripping over my own feet, unexplained bruises…maybe it’s all because of this stupid gluten crap!
It’s like I’m drunk, but without the fun. I’ve got to figure something out in the meantime. I’m starting to feel psychotic. It’s time for the fog to clear already!
Here’s to another successful week…with my head in the clouds.
“You don’t drown by falling in the water; you drown by staying there.”
~ Edwin Louis Cole