More Really Bad Advice…

I’ve decided I’ve got to get really hard core about working out starting this week. Energy level has been a problem previously, but I’m feeling extremely guilty about NOT doing anything physical…which I guess is a good sign. In the meantime, please allow me the opportunity to get just a bit of silliness out of my system before I shift it back into high gear…

  • Keep a canister of helium near your scale and take in a big lungful before you weigh in.
  • If you must eat fudge, be sure and wash it down with a Diet Coke.
  • They couldn’t call them “Apple Jacks” if they didn’t have real apples in them, dumbass.
  • It doesn’t matter if you do one pushup or one hundred, so I always just do one.
  • A homemade licorice headband is stylish and can help you keep your energy up during a workout.
  • Marshmallows are mostly air. Air has no calories, so eat as many as you want!
  • If you insist, most waiters and waitresses will give you a “wild guess” at how many calories are in various entrees.
  • When adding up the calories from the frozen yogurt with sprinkles and frozen cookie dough you just ordered, don’t forget to subtract the calories of all the toppings you could have ordered but didn’t from the total.
  • Baked Cheetos are pretty good, especially if you give ‘em a whirl in a Fry Daddy.
  • One time this guy was jogging and he dropped dead; I’m not saying you shouldn’t jog… I’m just sayin’…
  • Tight pants are in this season.
  • To make a healthy banana split, substitute banana for the ice cream and ice cream for the banana (note: I’m still in the test phase, so I’m not absolutely sure this one’s good to go yet).
  • If you take the recyclables down to the street on time, you win “immunity” and are allowed to skip one weigh-in.
  • Drink lots and lots of water, or if you don’t have ready access to water, milkshakes.
  • If you’re going to go through the fast food drive-thru no matter what, at least get some exercise by going through on a unicycle.
  • Keep some snacks on a shelf close to your scale so you can scarf them down immediately after weighing in.

Officially hit 30 pounds lost!!!! Wahoo!

Was curious what that amounted to in terms of other objects…30 pounds is the equivalent of an average 2 year old…a microwave…240 eggs…4 gallons of water…10 pairs of cowboy boots…54 cans of Coke…5430 pennies! I can’t imagine what it would be like to have that many pennies “added back on.” It’s definitely a good visual to keep in mind to keep me focused on moving in the correct direction.

As far as my new life with Celiac – I’ve turned into one of those obnoxious people at the grocery store that studies each and every food label for minutes at a time…the girl that picks up the same food from 4 different manufacturers to find the safe one. 10 minute trips to the store have turned into 2 hour trips. Gluten-free foods are NOT all created equally! The taste of some of these things would lead even a person with no taste buds to jump off a bridge! Do they not test this stuff before they ship it out?!

While I’m a champ when it comes to grocery shopping or cooking at home, I’m still struggling with trust when it comes to eating out. Can’t someone just open of a completely gluten-free restaurant?! It would make me must less anxiety-ridden! Cross-contamination is my worst enemy!!

I’ve been gluten free (aside from a few unintentional glutenings) for almost a month now. Oh what a difference 30 days makes!! Feeling more and more amazing each day…now there are NO excuses for not being active!! Here we go…

“An active mind cannot exist in an inactive body.” ~ General George S. Patton 


3 thoughts on “More Really Bad Advice…

  1. As always, you inspire me and entertain me. You will succeed. You are in my prayers daily. Just one thing… after you reach your goal you MUST keep writing. The subject may be different but your sense of humor MUST remain. Good luck. Tony B

  2. Yeah!! 30 lbs. You are my inspiration! And your writing continues to amaze me. Such a beautiful and talented young lady~Love, Jinnette

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