Tapeworms…Clean ones.

I read today that some people have intentionally – yes, I said INTENTIONALLY – given themselves tapeworms to lose weight. Seriously?!  Aside from that, where does one order a tapeworm? Craigslist? The Classifieds? Are there tapeworm sellers on Ebay with positive feedback 99.8% or higher?  Scary.

The article does mention that the “tapeworm diet” is only practiced with sanitized tapeworms….phew! Thank goodness! I was worried for a minute! I mean, really…does it matter that they’re disinfected or not? Using a sanitized tapeworm is like giving yourself rabies from a freshly groomed dog.

To be in a country that so easily exposes the fraudulent practices of any other industry, there sure are a lot of shoddy weight loss promises out there…I know, I know…as long as people are willing to try it and pay for it, they’ll keep showing up…I get that. But isn’t it about time we have an FDA equivalent for the lose-your-fat industry? A ranking system…a BBB-esque organization.  Surprise, surprise…I’ve fallen victim to a lot of those get results quick claims. I’ve ordered the pills and the juice and the bands and the body suits…ok not the last one, but I’m sure if there had been an infomercial at 3am with the 13 people who claim that it works then I would have bought one. Of course…none of this crazy, “this is not approved by the FDA” stuff worked.

Sad part is…I know exactly what works…I’ve always known what works. I have the books and the science and the proven research that burning more calories than I take in will lead to weight loss.  Why am I so convinced I’m going to wake up one day, turn on the news and hear “Breaking news! If you walk outside, turn around 3 times, bite your lip and grunt then you will instantly lose 100 pounds!”?!

All these times I’ve tried that quick fix, I was wasting time not doing what I know will work. Instead, I’ve gotten my hopes up, only to have that new miracle solution fail. I’m trying to keep repeating to myself that I didn’t gain the weight overnight…I’m not going to lose it overnight.

I’m finally at a point now, of disgust or despair or necessity, that I truly believe that this is a battle I’m going to fight the rest of my life. Not the battle to lose the weight (because that goal weight is all mine!), but the battle to keep it lost.  I won’t ever be able to eat whatever I want, whenever I want and refrain from exercise…it sucks…but it’s my reality and I’ve finally come to grips with it. Feels like an addict finally admitting their problems…an epiphany. “Hi my name is Hannah and I will have to be accountable nutritionally and physically for the rest of my life.”

I keep reiterating to myself that this is a lifestyle change…not a diet. (Which, might I point out, does have the word die in it.) The last few days have been tougher than I expected. It’s true what they say…when you think you can’t have something, you want it even more. Continuing to remind myself that I need to watch what I eat has made my cravings for something I don’t need much stronger. I never crave chocolate – but you wouldn’t know it this week. The smell of Taco Bell normally makes me gag – but all week my hunger is yelling at me to think outside the bun.  However,  I am proud to say that I did not succumb to temptation one time this week!! Not one!!…I’ll pause for a moment while you applaud……thank you!

I do need to figure out a way to relax about it all, though. I find myself getting so worked up about how many calories are in each bite, did I have too much arugula, was that serving of grapes too big or did that cup of water make my weight go up an ounce?  I’m trying to stop obsessing over everything…I know I’m not overweight because I ate too much lettuce or had too many grapes.  I had to hide my scale to prevent myself from getting on it a few times a day and am restricting myself to weighing once a week. It’s funny…I’m trying so hard to have so much control over every aspect of all of this, when being overweight, for me anyway, is the result of having too little control over myself.

Deep breath….

One day and a time, Hannah…success is all yours this time.

In the meantime, I can take comfort in knowing that I’ve made extremely smart choices this week and I am anxious to see what the result of this week’s efforts are.  Knowing that I have so many of you cheering for me has been amazingly encouraging. I never in a million years expected the response and the support like I have received and it is truly humbling.  My focus the last few days I owe in large part to you. I am touched and flattered by your comments and reassurance. Thank you so much for being part of this ride with me.

Stay tuned for the scale shot on Monday (with prettier toes!)… Have a great weekend everyone!

“Obstacles are those frightful things you see when you take your eyes off your goals.”

~Henry Ford


4 thoughts on “Tapeworms…Clean ones.

  1. Wow, Hannah, that is way beyond interesting. Everything I have ever heard about tapeworms indicated that they are related to our cravings. Not sure that is scientific but that is what I read. At any rate, keep us informed if you use them. My weight loss, now 15.4 pounds has been directly related to eliminating my cravings and my stress eating. Take a look at my site: http://tb.bfreesystem.com and tell me what you think. To me it has been self discipline in a cup. My daughter is using the tea and having similar results.

  2. Hannah–you are a “hoot”! I have been laughing and laughing because I can relate to so much of what you are saying. I’ve been there many times.
    You are right. It is all about eating less calories than you take in and unfortunately it is going to take some exercise to burn extra calories. Why not see if there is a pool (indoor) somewhere close by in a gym/spa?? where you can take some aerobic exercise? That’s the only exercise that I can do and I will not quit on it like I might do on other exercises like walking 6 miles a day-ha!
    Two thoughts for the day: I have found that WWatcher’s was the ONLY plan that worked for me because if I wanted a taco then I could check out the points and give my body what it needed or craved at that time but I would have to make the points work for my total for the day. Secondly, I read a book called “Eating Right for your Blood Type”. It provides great research about how your blood type relates to your diet. For example, I have never understood why I was never able to eat oranges or drink orange juice without a lot of heart burn. But since I am an “O” type, my stomach is SO acidic that I cannot add a highly acidic food like that. BUT, I can drink pineapple juice because when it hits an “O” stomach the acid turns into an alkaline and I never burp from it or have any probs. The book is not an all in all for a diet but it does help you to understand what foods work better for you. Also you may want to be checked by an allergist to see if you could be gluten sensitive, lactose intolerant, etc. I am both of those plus allergies to corn and soy. What’s left?? But when I stopped using those products and less dairy, my stomach did not look like I was 6 mos. pregnant and the wheat gluten does the same thing. Just an idea!
    Today is a new day so enjoy it and be good to yourself. Think good thoughts and speak out: I am living a new life style. Not a DIEt.
    Love, Jinnette PS Sorry for the wordiness.

  3. Hannah,
    You have already had a major success by realizing it is a lifestyle change/choice you are making, not a diet. And you have to know that there is a tiny percent of people who can eat whatever they want whenever and not exercise (and they are 19 and we hate them). But speaking of exercise, what are you incorporating into your plan? Anything that get’s you moving is good. Can’t wait for updates!

  4. Hannah, when I first met you, I thought you were one of the coolest chicks I’ve ever met. Now that I see this, I find you to be one of the most brave and inspiring people that I know. Just when I thought you couldn’t surprise me anymore, you go ahead and top yourself….again. I am riveted by your posts and look forward to talking about it with you everyday. This is a good thing you’re doing. Because all of us that are watching your journey can get involved in helping you reach your goals. By the way, by reading this, I can stay focused with my less public lifestyle change as well, minus the brussel sprouts. I just wanted to pass on this quote from Vince Lombardi – “The good Lord gave you a body that can stand most anything. It’s your mind you have to convince.”

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