Posting My Starting Weight: Humiliation or Liberation?

Well there it is…in all its glory…the scale.  I can’t hide behind the number anymore…can’t secretly write it down in a little journal or notebook for no one else to see but myself. Though posting what I actually weigh is causing some unnecessary anxiety – it’s quite freeing!  I will say with 100% certainty that I will NEVER see this number on the scale again. (On a side note…I apologize for the poorly pedicured feet!)

Part of me is afraid that some people might have the “OMG she weighs how much?!” response…(hell, I had the same response when I stepped on the scale this morning!)..but I keep reminding myself that I can’t fix what I’m not honest about…well, that and I’m pretty sure that no one looks at me and says “Hmmm…I thinks she weighs 130 lbs.”

Those of you that know me the best know I’ve spent the last 15 years of my life “trying” every diet, juice, pill or other gimmick on the market. While some of them are promising…I am sad to report that eating raw vegetables for the rest of your life isn’t feasible, liquid diets are miserable, cabbage soup is a horrible way to live (for both you and those around you) and most disappointing of all: taking QuickTrim does not make you look like a Kardashian. Really bummed about the last one – I was really hoping to look like Kim Kardashian by Valentine’s Day!

I’m fed up with the yo-yo dieting and roller coaster weight battle I’ve been fighting.

I want to shop in a normal store. I want to like pictures of myself instead of having to un-tag myself in them to prevent showing 14 chins instead of 1. I want to wear shorts in the summer (confidently that is). I want to wear undergarments that are cute and dainty, not ones that are on the verge of being industrial (Ok so, yes I have cute ones – Sorry, Dad – but is frilly underwear really that cute in a size 18?!). I want to look in a full-length mirror with satisfaction instead of despair. I want to stop thinking mean thoughts when I see skinny women. I want to be able to say my weight out loud with pride. I want to say “I used to be overweight.”  I want my boobs to stick out more than my stomach when I’m sitting down and not the other way around. I want to feel the power of accomplishment. I want to stop wearing out the thigh of my jeans before anything else. I want to wear cute boots that actually fit over my calves. I want to live longer. I want to stop giving excuses as to why I haven’t succeeded before.  I want to change my life.

Wait a minute…no, I don’t want these things…I WILL DO these things!!!

After only 1 day of this blog officially being online, I can feel in my soul that this time is different. I have already made better decisions with my “followers” in mind. I can’t wait to share my success! It’s so motivating to know that I have cheerleaders out there!

Until next time…

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4 thoughts on “Posting My Starting Weight: Humiliation or Liberation?

  1. Hey Hannah,
    I vote for liberation all the way. Your determination and honesty are awesome. Saw a quote the other day that made me think of you and this undertaking:
    If you think you can or think you can’t, you’re right.
    -Henry Ford

    You can.

  2. Dear dear Hannah, It is wonderful to hear from you and to be on your team. We are bursting with pride at your
    decision. We want you to know we continue to think you are the most marvelous and now THE BRAVEST!! WE STAND BEHIND YOU.
    Love, Betty & Phillip

  3. Hannah,
    I agree with Jinnette who said, “You should have been a comedian!!” You are hilarious, and you have the right attitude to succeed in anything you want to do in life. You could actually be a comedian in the future. I believe in you, and you know you can do it!!! You tried when we were together, and from what I remember you did pretty well. All the best to you!! Take your time, and I know you will succeed!! You make me smile on facebook, so many times when I was down on myself. Thank you for that, and go for it Hayes!!!
    Much love,
    John McMonagle

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